


If Amelia and April bonded over their dead babies

by Seriesthoughts



Series: Grey's Anatomy stories [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:14:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22036135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seriesthoughts/pseuds/Seriesthoughts
Summary: A little missing moment I imagined during season 12. The title speaks for itself.
Relationships: April Kepner/Amelia Shepherd
Series: Grey's Anatomy stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586137
Kudos: 18





	If Amelia and April bonded over their dead babies

It had been a while since Amelia worked with someone but Stephanie. However, Richard had switched places for the interns lately. So she ended up with Blake, which crushed her wishes, although she had to admit she was really good at what she did. 

Today was her day off, so she was wandering around the hospital, oblivious to who or what she was about to unravel in the big space that felt a bit empty for now. Actually, everybody was kinda off today.

But she needed the walk, because whenever she felt like drinking, checking on patients was one of the things which calmed her down. That and Owen. But she couldn’t with him right now. 

She went near the ER, and was surprised to see April very still at the beginning of it. 

\- Hey ! Isn’t it supposed to be your day off ? 

April jumped away, startled by Amelia’s presence. She didn’t expect to see anyone. 

\- Sorry, I… I came here because I thought I could help over here. I didn’t think I…but it’s kinda slow today. 

\- Couldn’t stay home either, huh ? 

April looked down, nodding in guilt. There was nothing for her to come home to anymore. Sometimes, working was easier. 

\- Well, Jackson and I are just being civil again. So… but I guess you heard. 

Amelia put her hand on her shoulder and stroked it gently. 

\- I think everybody heard, sorry. 

April had a nervous laugh which faded almost instantly. For a moment, she looked at her shoes again before she realized something. 

\- I think you’re the first person who didn’t have an opinion about my baby. Usually, when I bring up the subject, everyone wanna tell me what I should do.

She paused, thinking of Arizona. 

\- … sometimes they’re right though. 

Amelia sighed. 

\- I’m not here to judge anything. I’m an addict, if you have not heard. 

She laughed at her own statement while April chuckled. Noone could ignore that time when a patient yelled at her for being a junkie, displaying her tragic story to the whole hospital. 

And even if she had not been there, words travelled fast at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Probably because they all knew each other. They worked together, lived together and had sometimes disastrous dinner parties all together. So they were all linked in a way. 

It’s April who broke the silence. 

She didn’t know Amelia very well, but she learned somehow she was the one to suggest those candles when Samuel died. She was utterly touched, but was in no state to thank her at the time. And she never did. 

\- When Samuel died, people lighted up candles in the chapel. I know it was because of you so… I guess I should thank you. It really meant a lot to me. 

\- You’re welcome. 

Amelia frowned, not sure as to why she was telling her. 

\- I guess, what I’m trying to say is… today with this little boy getting shot, I… with this baby, I’m so much scared there’s going to be something wrong. I keep thinking about Samuel. And to think the world is already that scary. 

Her face saddened a little before she lighted up again. 

\- But the other day, I felt a kick. Samuel was sick so he never did that. I panicked. I thought it was wrong. When Arizona explained it to me… I’ve never felt so much joy. 

\- You must have been so relieved, concluded Amelia, pensive. 

\- Yeah. I sometimes jealous people like you who can’t feel this kind of “joy”.

Amelia’s face fell when she heard those words. If she was to be pregnant again, she would absolutely freak out the entire time before the baby was born. And even after. The memory of her unicorn baby would still be vivid in her mind till the day she would die. 

She recalled the moment she first told Owen about her dead baby. They were in the chapel with all the candles lighted up. Since she was the one who could most understand April’s pain, she felt it could help her by giving her that knowledge. 

\- My son lived for 43 minutes. 

April was almost going away when Amelia said it. She froze. Turning back, she gave the neurosurgeon a puzzled look. 

But Amelia had tears in her eyes, like every other time she had brought it up. 

\- Did you… ? 

\- Yes, she admitted. It was a little different for me as there was no daddy left to grow apart from. 

\- I’m so sorry, what happened ? 

April put her hand on Amelia’s shoulder, comforting her. The neuro head wiped a tear off and started to explain. 

Of course, she would leave some parts out. She didn’t know April that close and it was her story, affecting her to her very core. 

\- Well, long story short, he died. Then I discovered I was pregnant and that the baby was encephalic. 

\- Oh my god, that’s awful. Must have been hard. 

April was genuinely concerned and moved by Amelia’s story. But she didn’t know everything, so Amelia thought about how she would react in the face of whole truth. She couldn’t deny the fact that she was the bad guy of her own story. If only it hadn’t been for her addiction… Then, maybe… 

\- He would have been four this year. 

\- Oh wow… 

For a little moment, they remained silent, thinking about their lost babies and what could have been. Nobody could understand what they went through, except each other. And somehow, they felt they could find solace in the fact that there was somebody else who could. 

April watched peacefully over the ER, a sad smile on her face. 

\- You know, for what it’s worth… I think your son is playing with mine in heaven.


End file.
